We all have mental health
Mental Health Awareness Week, a time that stirs up a lot of feelings, for many of us. Is it a positive notion to have only one week, a year, to highlight the importance of people speaking freely and openly about how they are really feeling? Surely, this is something which should be the norm, and people should feel comfortable doing, every day, whether it be with friends and family, or bosses and work colleagues?
Positive steps are being taken towards a more open and non-judgemental conversation around mental health, especially in the workplace, but speaking of one’s mental health issues, struggles or problems continues to hold a stigma as a weakness, and something to be ashamed of. When did mental health become such a dirty word?
With the theme of kindness as this year’s mantra, I knew I wanted to speak out. Being kind to others is not something I struggle with but being kind to myself is a constant work in progress.
I chose to leave my job in March after being signed off for a few weeks, experiencing some horrible panic attacks, and most likely on reflection, suffering a full-on burnout. In hindsight, I should have seen it coming. I was long in a job which wasn’t making me happy, and I had just gone through an extremely testing few months, having slipped a disc in my back in late 2019 and consequently being stuck in my house for 3 months, often in extreme pain, unable to walk more than a few steps, or get out of bed.
As someone who loves to keep active and normally spends 3-4 times a week working out and trying all sorts of new random fitness classes, the shock and break down of my physical health was pretty devastating. And, after being told by physio’s and specialists that the injury could have been brought on by emotional and mental stress, rather than the obvious finger-pointing to physical stress, I was incredibly shaken about the strain I had been putting on both my body and mind, and couldn’t believe how sequentially these were linked.
Now, out of the job, recovering from my injury and looking for a new challenge in the sportswear/wellness space, I have spent the last few months openly connecting to potential employers, and recruiters and if the conversation comes up, I feel comfortable chatting about the physical stress I went through with my back. But the knock-on effect it had on my mental health, the panic attacks, being signed off work, and feeling extremely low, anxious, and scared, I haven’t uttered a word.
How could I be so open about the physical pain I endured and the fears I had surrounding my recovery, but not utter a single word about how the experience had hugely affected my mental health? How could I be potentially moving into a career, which prides itself on looking after the wellbeing of employees, helping them come to work as their true self, and working to ensure fewer people face stress and burnouts, but not speak about my own experience, going through this exact thing?
The truth is, I have been scared. Scared that it would hinder my chances of getting a job, scared of the judgement, and scared of showing any vulnerability or being seen as weak or unstable to a potential employer. And this is what I really hope can change. If mental health awareness week can push employers and organisations to prioritise their employees and their mental health and start an open conversation, then it’s doing some good.
Not everyone will want to share their story, and not everyone needs to but there should be an open platform and a choice. I know, for me, just hearing other people’s stories and struggles, helps me feel like I am not alone.
Just like our physical health, we all have mental health, and will all struggle with niggles, aches, and pains in our minds, just like we do with our body, it just may not be seen to the human eye. This does not dictate who we are and our worth, as an employee, friend, boss, or colleague.
And finally back to kindness, it is something I am working on, and lockdown life has definitely highlighted its importance. So to end, on a lighter note, and because I love a list, here are some of the ways I have been kind to myself over the last few months:
-Going for a relaxing, ‘fake commute’ walk, with a coffee every morning, even if it means starting work 20 mins later
-Taking regular breaks, playing UNO (don’t ask), losing to table tennis at lunchtime, or just sitting down and enjoying some sun
-Allowing myself to have slow days and trying not to beat myself up when I feel a bit shit and disappointed after not hearing back from a job application
-Having a solo 11 am cake break, often munching on a brownie, muffin or whatever sweet based treat I can find lying around the kitchen
-Letting myself procrastinate on days when I struggle to motivate myself, and allowing myself to do random, menial tasks like cleaning out the fridge, sorting my wardrobe, or looking at cat adoption sites for hours
-Starting this blog and sharing it on social channels, even though it is not perfect, I am not a writer and knowing it is something I am doing for me, and that’s alright
So, above all else, try and be kind to yourself. I can be easy to do this for others, but it takes a lot more patience and compassion to remember to be kind to yourself. And if you haven’t, I would recommend reading Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine, a book which sums up the act of being kind to others, as we never really know what is going on in someone’s life, just like people may not know about ours.